You’re welcome…

for the song that’s now stuck in your head.

Tonight I went to an event put on by my favorite blogger, Jordan Page.  Go check out her site at funcheaporfree.com if you’re not familiar with it.  She’s awesome!  I just came home and had to write down the things swirling in my brain, and then it occurred to me that it might be helpful to someone else, so I’m slapping it on here.

Part of the thing tonight was a presentation/discussion with a short Q&A afterward.  The focus of the presentation was confidence, and Jordan talked about replacing “I can’t” in your life with “Why not?”  No excuses!  If there’s something you really want, just find a way to make it happen!

I wanted to ask about finding the balance between “Why not?” and accepting when things aren’t working out right now – being happy with what you have and/or making the most of it.  There wasn’t much time, so I didn’t get to ask my question, but I did have a thought: what if what I think I want, or what I’m actively wanting from day to day, and what I really want, are not the same thing?

Let me explain.  I apologize to anyone who has spoken to me in the last year, because this will be old news.  But here’s the big “I can’t” in my life right now.

We feel like we need to stay where we are for now, but I reeeeeeeally want a new house.  Not necessarily new new, just a different, better house.  And I guess yes, probably a little newer.  But one with a nice, big, bright kitchen so that people will come and cook and eat and gab.  A house with a laundry/mud room right by the kitchen so we’ll be all organized and get all the clothes, shoes, backpacks and coats put where they belong.  I want open spaces for the kids to be free & do their thing, without me worrying and restricting.  I want a master bath.  Ok, that one just is what it is.

But, MOST of the items on my house wish list have a reason behind them that is not totally dependent on the desire itself.  I don’t think that made sense.  What I mean is that I think what I truly want are the results of the things I’m wishing for.  What do I really want?  People in my kitchen.  Organization.  Happy, unrestricted kids running about.  And couldn’t I have those things right here?  In the home I already have?  Couldn’t I just invite people over, and organize, and not worry about or restrict the kids?  Those results have WAY more to do with me (and the way I act) than with my house.

On the flip side, if I had a great big awesome kitchen, but I didn’t reach out more often, it would be just as lonely as mine is now.  The most perfect laundry/mud room in the world will only be organized if someone makes it so.  And can’t you see me in my new home – my finally, forever home – getting it all decorated and just how I want it, and then sending the kids outside all the time so they don’t ruin it?

Tonight when Jordan Page said “No excuses!  Go out and get what you really want” (I’m paraphrasing), I panicked a little.  I’ve been trying to be content with where I am.  Am I selling myself short?  Is it a cop-out?  But now I know that what I really want is about my own attitudes and behaviors.  So I’ll take her advice.  No excuses.  Not even a red brick one built in the ’40s.